I haven't posted for ten years. Why? No, life did not get in the way. 

I lost heart in trying to reach out only to find I was typing to myself. But, over the last few years, I've lost friends, not necessarily from the big C-19 and become much more insular, spending more time at home but being unable to write. 

I'm in the middle of a novel. I know the end, but the path to that end has petered out: up against the briars of fear, stung by loss of confidence in my own ability to express how the story should proceed.

Yes, I know about creating atmosphere, using the five senses, dialogue, stylistic sentences and writing action scenes, but one of my characters, suspended between her country cottage in southern Ireland, and a need to be in Dublin, is going nowhere. I can't move her on. 

My other protagonist has moved on, in her quest, but she's reached a stage where I realise there's flaws in the way I've got her to her current place and, at the moment, can't figure out how to get her to carry on. It's as if she's in the proverbial middle of the Pacific, surrounded by sharks.

Eventually the two of them will meet but the journey for their getting together is a big foggy blank to me. I keep hoping that, like in other novels I've written, I'll dream the solution or, when I'm out for a long ramble, I'll start muttering the next conversation or action and can rush home and start typing. It hasn't happened even with the time for more and more longer walks due to C-19.

But we've been locked up or whatever the opposite of lockdown is so I'm writing this as a sort of automatic writing to see if it will break through and I can start writing again. 

hello I'm back

I don't suppose anyone's missed me but now I'm a renewed woman with a bionic bit I can start to blog again. Mainly because I have to tell the world of an exciting new venture coming up in March where Goldenford Publishers will be hosting an evening of music, madrigals and 'mystoricals' as part of Guildford's International Music Festival. I am working with Erato Consort and The Minstrels Gallery - both popular and well known groups - to produce the evening, where I will read from my three historical novels, and appropriate music from 1399 to the seventeenth century will be played.  It is in the evening on March 19 at The Guildhall, High Street, Guildford and tickets can be obtained from the Tourist Office.   The evening will end with a chance to talk to us all over a glass of wine (or water!).

And if anyone reading this is scared to do something about their aches and pains in their hips - don't be, go for it! I had a hip replacement operation just over six weeks ago and I'm walking, driving and feel wonderful - no more pain. 

the weekend

This weekend saw me travelling westwards on the M25 on Friday evening in the pouring rain.  Not the greatest start to the weekend – I was ten minutes late to give a talk to Sutton Writers about ‘The fiction behind the facts’ – my experiences in writing historical novels.

I reckon I know the beast called M25 and generally believe I’ve tamed him – use sparingly, only Sunday mornings or, surprisingly, at around 5 p.m. Mondays to Thursdays – but leave him alone on Fridays when all motorists in Surrey decide to party at the venue that becomes the largest circular car park!

But needs must so I gave myself an hour to get from Guildford to Sutton and it took hour and ten minutes!  The other big problem was Sutton itself, a nightmare of one way systems, bad signing to car parks and, at night in the pouring rain, a shiny concrete people-less jungle.

Sutton Writers though were forgiving and kindly listened to my talk and, afterwards, I discovered that this group is as enterprising as Guildford Writers in that they published an anthology of their work last year, which was a runner up entry in a national writing competition – not bad for a first try. I also discovered that many of their members are aiming to publish their own works, so look out for exciting books from Surrey Writers.

Saturday saw me travelling to Loughton to meet with a member of Erato Consort to discuss my planned concert as part of the Guildford International Music next March when I hope to present a repertoire of music and readings from my Priedeux mystoricals.

Then on to see a dear friend from my Walthamstow days – anyone reading the Priedeux books will know that Priedeux comes from that small hamlet in Epping Forest – well it’s a sprawling London suburb now, but I go back to those halcyon days of the middle and Tudor ages…..

the weekend ...

This weekend saw me travelling westwards on the M25 on Friday evening in the pouring rain.  Not the greatest start to the weekend – I was ten minutes late to give a talk to Sutton Writers about ‘The fiction behind the facts’ – my experiences in writing historical novels.

I reckon I know the beast called M25 and generally believe I’ve tamed him – use sparingly, only Sunday mornings or, surprisingly, at around 5 p.m. Mondays to Thursdays – but leave him alone on Fridays when all motorists in Surrey decide to party at the venue that becomes the largest circular car park!

But needs must so I gave myself an hour to get from Guildford to Sutton and it took hour and ten minutes!  The other big problem was Sutton itself, a nightmare of one way systems, bad signing to car parks and, at night in the pouring rain, a shiny concrete people-less jungle.

Sutton Writers though were forgiving and kindly listened to my talk and, afterwards, I discovered that this group is as enterprising as Guildford Writers in that they published an anthology of their work last year, which was a runner up entry in a national writing competition – not bad for a first try. I also discovered that many of their members are aiming to publish their own works, so look out for exciting books from Surrey Writers.

Saturday saw me travelling to Loughton to meet with a member of Erato Consort to discuss my planned concert as part of the Guildford International Music next March when I hope to present a repertoire of music and readings from my Priedeux mystoricals.

Then on to see a dear friend from my Walthamstow days – anyone reading the Priedeux books will know that Priedeux comes from that small hamlet in Epping Forest – well it’s a sprawling London suburb now, but I go back to those halcyon days of the middle and Tudor ages…..

writing and other matters

so have finished my short story for the Daily Telegraph competiton - a  ghost story - probably one of thousands and sent my email so it will die the death of other submissions, no doubt but the joy is in creating something with words that tells a story....no matter how unlikely that story is.

Then a rush to get ready for my hospital appointment for my pre-operative assessment for a hip op (I like to describe it as that as it gives it a fun feel - a bit like reggae music) in December, which I hope will release me from pain and angst. I had to give 10 mmls of urine in a little tube - interesting contortions and as I didn't know how much ten mmls is I rather overdid it and not only filled up the tube but also filled the funnel as well. So, decided to discard some and then spilled nearly all of it down the loo!  However, I have been assured that 5 mmls will be sufficient. It is not possible to pee again immediately!

So I passed with flying colours, no underlying conditions discovered and now have four weeks to go before I am cut open, my old, worn out hip cut out ( I understand they use drills, hammers and other builders' equipment) and have a super one put in so I can really do the dance without pain.  I'm not having a general anaesthetic as I hope to be able to 'watch' the op - or at least be involve - I imagine that the surgeons will probably discuss cricket or the antics of their children while they probe and prod.

The pre-op assessment consisted of a lovely nurse mainly sitting in front of a computer and pressing buttons, with me getting green squares!  Admittedly they also took blood, tested my heart with a machine that looked like a miniature coffee machine and took x-rays, so there are still some old-fashioned procedures being done.

now we await the operation, which I'll describe in detail if I can!

timing is out

Just to let you know the time of posting is out and I suspect it is using US time....as it is about 16.53 on my laptop - come on Google show how good you are by accepting the real time!

Monday 8 November

I gave up but I'm here again mainly to get rid of writing angst when I don't have time for a good session at the novels.  My last posting was in June 2008 and nobody has commented since then so probably this is like a personal diary - locked and never to be read by anyone else.

The only news is that The Nine Lives of  Kit Marlowe is now well and truly out there and I am toying with the next project, having finished Brother's Keeper - which has to find a publisher - and being stuck with my Bulgarian travelogue becuase I need good photographs. 

The comments so far on Kit is that it is an uproaring good read, with people missing their stop on the tube because its so absorbing - how about that?  Perhaps it should come with a warning....

So now I'll try to write something every day.